FF7 Dating Game!
by Chibi Girl and Anti Girly Girl
Summary: Yep, this is the story where you, (that's right, YOU!) get to decide what date you would have if there was a dating game! My first one of these so please review! *chp 4 up FOR ALL GUY AUTHORS!*
1. Default Chapter

FF7 Dating Show!

Written by: Anti! (The girl bored out of her mind and on a sugar buzz! heheheh...)

Anti: Hello everyone and welcome to the ff7 dating show, where YOU, the READER, get to decide what date you would have if this were a real show! First decide on the answer you would want to hear, and then read the number beside it in ( ) *recommended that you write it down so you don't forget*. Then, at the end, see which number you have the most, and see what's you're date! Confusing? OF COURSE IT IS! But that won't stop you from trying now will it?

Audience: NO!

Anti: Thought not! And now, let the dating show begin!

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First question: If you were to take me on a date, where would be go?

(1) Well, I suppose we could always hang around the subway in Midgar, eat a few burgers, graffiti the walls, that sort of thing.

(2) CHOCOBO LAND!

(3) A romantic dinner at the Shinra mansion, and then sitting in the belfries gazing at the night sky. *audience: sighs*

(4) I hope you like science, because first we'd genetically alter our meals and then spend the day growing killer planets in the greenhouse.

(5) A lovely stroll in a village I just destroyed, still burning to the ground.

(6) $#!% I don't know. Anywhere you wanted to go I suppose.

(7) *whacking #6 over the head with the end of a revolver* You idiot. A lady likes to be showered with money and diamonds! Well, if we were on a date, I'd buy a 75k diamond for you, and then if we went out on another date, I'd by you the whole store!

Okay, now, what's your favorite color?

(3) Blood Red

(1) Navy Blue

(6) Brown

(4) Pearl White

(7) Strawberry Red

(2) Combat green

(5) none

For a very serious question, what do you think about kids?

(2) Kids? I love kids! I PAY THE FOOL WHO DON'T LIKE KIDS!

(1) Well...umm...err...NEXT QUESTION!

(3) I like kids...I was actually thinking about having some when I married my girlfriend, but some #@%^&*$ stole her from me *glares at #4*

(4) Well, I- *is cut off by a choking sound from being strangled by #3*

(6) Kids are cool I guess.

(5) Kids? Never really thought about it. But I suppose just more little prodigies to rule the planet!

(7) Brats. ALL BRATS!

What's your deepest secret?

(1) Umm...I...was just faking it when they thought I was schizophrenic so I could get Tifa to feel sorry for me...

(3) My deepest secret...I suppose that would be that my eyes aren't red. *pops out contact* They're light blue. But I thought they matched my hair better.

(5) WHO CAME UP WITH THIS QUESTION?! I'll burn their property down for this...! But... my hair color isn't actually silver...it's pink...*audience: 0_o????* 

(7) In all truth, I don't even like fighting...

(6) Well, I guess...I DON'T #^*&%^# LIKE FLYING!!!! THERE, HAPPY?!?!

(2) My arm really didn't get torn off. I had it removed so I could get this AWESOME GUN ARM! Look at it! Ain't it cool?!

(4) My nose is actually ten times bigger than this...

What's your REAL age?

(1) I can't quite remember...Sorry, but it's the TRUTH! HONESTLY!!!!

(7) Twenties. *fogs up camera and writes number, putting a hand up to his ear and mouthing 'call me'*

(3) A gentlemen never fully tells his elder age, but it's somewhere in the late twenties.

(6) %$#@&^ Does it matter?! Jeez, why did I even sign up for this thing?!

(2) 34, and that's the last time I'm answering that!

(4) Old. But I will become younger, as soon as I drink this potion! *drinks it; a thud and a crack is heard. All is silent*

(5) In all honestly I am *monitor comes on, paging for someone* years old.

If You were an animal, what would you be and why?

(5) My Mother, because all would fear me! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

(2) I dunno, but anything but a stuffed Chocobo *slams fist onto the gun arm* I own that rip off @#$^%& a seriously @$$ wooping for takin' my tokens the last time I was there. 

(4) MYSELF, because I am infused with Jenova cells thus making me invincible!!!!

(1) Hmm...Let me think...*starts thinking as jeopardy music starts to play, finally we shape up and just move onto the next contestant*

(3) I suppose a Raven, because they are just as dark and mysterious as myself.

(7) A German Shepard, because it's fierce and sleek as me...

(6) *shakes head in pity to this question and the answer before him*

Finally, if you were on a deserted island, with only one thing, what would you have?

(1) Materia and a girl who has Materia. Save-point Materia would be nice...

(2) A Tiki bar with a bunch of _fine_ lookin' women serving me *gets glares from audience* What?

(3) Give me a machete and I could last for years.

(4) I wouldn't be so stupid to get myself on a deserted island.

(5) There would BE no deserted island when I'm done with it.

(6) A satellite phone. What do you take me for?! Wait...don't answer...

(7) First off I'd probably liquidate the pilot for being so careless, and then wait for my rescue when everyone knows I'm gone. Will they come after me? Of course they will if they know about the self-destruct device recently planted in them...

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Anti: *blinks, surprised how that went...Well, what can you expect?* Okay there you have it! I do hope you wrote down those numbers for here's the answers!

With the most 1's:

Your date is CLOUD! Shy and a bit indecisive, he will still be there if you need him. Strong and courageous, it's most likely he will pick up the bill and beat up the gangs on the way home...

With the most 2's:

Your date is BARRET! Beefy and Brawny, the guy may seem like a tough guy, but is really a sweetheart once you get to know him. But don't cross him, especially when it comes into the safety of kids, 'cuz it's most likely you'll lose. No...definitely lose...

With the most 3's:

Your date is VINCENT! Mysterious yet brave, he brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Tall, Dark, & Handsome'. Yeah sure, he may lose his temper and become a mad, raging beast, but that's just half the fun of seeing bad guys being mauled senselessly in the streets, right? ^_^' Well, though he may have a troubled past, that still doesn't keep him from being a nice guy. You'll know you'll be safe walking with this guy in the dead of night.

With the most 4's:

Your date is HOJO! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, umm....sorry...I guess it's not so bad...Well maybe it is...that perverted BAKA!!!!! Err....I suppose it's not to bad to change your answers! NO ONE WILL KNOW! Just erase them! Wait...you used a pen...? Umm...well, it's been nice knowing you normally, because you'll probably be changed into a plant creature or something...

With the most 5's:

Your date is SEPHIROTH! Tough guy XXL, he's a bit...eccentric. Don't blame him if he's a bit rude at first, but if you're into plundering and destroying villages then I'm sure the date will be a big hit! Yes, he may be a bit off, but don't forget that he is a sociopath after all. Don't be worried about any gangs, cuz I think they know his face by reputation already. And if they haven't...poor, poor them...

With the most 6's:

Your date is CID! Yes, the cigar smoking, strong swearing, tough guy man of FF7, (not that sissy from 8...no offense Cid!) He may be a bit profound, and maybe get a ticket for dropping a few f-bombs in public, but if your car breaks down, then it'll be fixed in a matter of no time! And if you like to fly, I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking you anywhere in the world on his private plane!

With the most 7's:

Your date is RUFUS SHINRA! Yeah, he's a bit egotistical, but he won't be afraid to spend a pretty penny for you! If you're into fast cars, the bling-bling, and ice, then this is the guy for you. But don't expect him to be around forever. We had to pay him to get on this show, (not to mention he just gave out his phone number...)

Anti: So, what did you get? Good? Bad? Let me know! Want another one of these with different questions, (maybe to get a different score and not so OBVIOUS ANSWERS!)? Well, this is the first one of these I've done, so...yeah...Please review!


	2. What Animal are YOU!

What Animal are YOU?!

Anti *looks and reviews and blinks, seeing the counter go up*: Wow...That went over well...Better than I thought actually...SO THANKS EVERYBODY! Back by popular demand, (or what my standards are anyway), the next quiz is gonna be what animal are you from FF7! Just follow the rules from the last game and it should all work out good!

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So, since everyone's here now, first question. What is your favorite thing about the game?

(1) Being able to adventure around the world.

(2) MATERIA! Got to have that Materia!

(3) Being part of the greatest theme park in the world!

(4) Not being worked to death like in Eight. Those stupid...

(5) *Stares, not willing to answer*

Okay, next question. If you were a human, who would you want to be?

(2) THE GREATEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD!

(4) Someone nice, quite, having other people do the work for me...

(1) I'm kind of like a human, so myself is fine.

(3) A welder! Don't ask why, just someone who works for a living.

(5) *Stares, confused on why its even here*

Erm, alright...What's your favorite sport?

(3) Baseball!

(1) Chess

(4) Blitzball! Wait...wrong game...

(2) WRESTLING! *flexes muscles like an idiot*

(5) *finally saying something* Sewing. I'm at least good at that.

If you could drive a car, what car would you have?

(4) A yellow Mustang convertible!

(1) A Firebird

(3) Cadillac

(2) a NASCAR! ZOOMZOOM!

(5) anything that could get my away from here at the moment...

Finally, if you found a wallet on the street and it was filled with cash but had the person's ID in it, what would you do? Be honest now!

(1) Take it back to the owner without a reward.

(2) They shouldn't have dropped it in the first place...heheh...

(3) Take it to the police and have them deal with it.

(4) Take it back to the owner but take a bit of a 'reward' first.

(5) Where did this question come from and what does it have to do with this firggin' game?! Isn't this suppose to be 'FF7 dating game' not 'What-would-you-do-if-you-found-a-wallet-in-the-street GAME!'

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Anti: My, my...more testy than I would've expected...ANYWAY! Here are the answers...

With the most 1's:

You'd be RED XIII! Yep, honest and downright cool. What? What more is there to say than he's a cool lookin' lion with a tail of fire who helped out Cloud and the gang save the world?! Wait...I guess THAT'S it...

With the most 2's"

You'd be CAIT-SITH! Eik, another annoying forte in my option. No offense, **_REALLY_**! But he's the guy who stole all that materia from you in the beginning, (or at least I think....I know he screwed up the same somehow. If he hadn't been a cat on top with a cape then I'd rant on him more. DARN THAT CAPE!)

With the most 3's:

You'd be a MOOGLE! Yep, Kupo, you'd be that little animal everyone seems to adore and is basically in every Final Fantasy that I know of. A skillful worker, it'll never fail at its work, however it is a tricky little fellow sometimes.

With the most 4's:

You'd be a CHOCOBO! Cute and fluffy, all so a toughy, it can be a great companion...If you're nice to it. It can sometimes have a bad temper, a little agitated when put to work too much, but if taken care of it will be a very loyal friend!

With the most 5's:

You'd be a CACTUAR! Shy, (and a little paranoid), it's one of those that's hard to get, but once you have it, KABOOM! No more enemies for you! Of course, cactuses are a good supply of water! So if you get caught in the middle of the desert...Oh, wait...I take that back... ^_^'''''''' Poor, poor Cactuar...

Anti: Well, that's the end of the second quiz! Please review!


	3. WHO are YOU!

WHO are YOU?!

Anti: Hmm, as I can see people didn't like the animal one so much. But, in truth, I was just trying to think of something to do, and it's odd that I didn't think of this first! So, this time we're gonna see who YOU, the REVIEWER, is...are...Ah, forget it...To figure out how this works, go to the first chapter. Anyway, quick note to all the **_BOY AUTHORS_**! If you want me to do something for you guys then let me know. I'll come up with the guy's dating thing! Also, I'm all outta ideas for another chapter, so if you want me to dip into another FF game, (consisting of 8 and 10 or any sort of Square games consisting of --coughcoughkingdomheartscoughcough--I know, I haven't played many ff games, but for awhile there I only had PC, so...I'm sorry, no 9.) Not much of a range but, hey, whatever...Now, onto the quiz!

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First question for today, what are you looking for in a date?

(1) Er...ummm.....I was told I wasn't suppose to say anything to give who I am away but besides for that, someone cute!

(2) Someone hunky, like CLOUD!

(3) Someone with a big pocketbook who won't go Dutch on me again...

(4) Umm... Someone nice, someone quite....

(5) The only man in my life now is Cloud, and no one else compares!

Okay, next question. Where would you want to go if you were on a date?

(4) Again, someplace nice and peaceful...then again I don't know...*sighs*

(2) Movies and then nightclub dancing!

(5) A lovely stroll through the park and then a carriage ride home through lamppost guided paths on a beautiful summer night! ^_____^

(1) Someplace fun, like an amusement park!

(3) I don't care, dinner I guess where it's nice an expensive!

Now, if you went on a date, liked him, but found out he was going out with someone else, what would you do?

(2) I beat the girl up, slap him senseless, and if he wants me back he's going to have to get on his knees and BEG!

(1) GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND! NO ONE CHEATS ON ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!!

(3) I'd steal my guy back and the girl will have an 'accident'...yes, I'm evil like that, especially to accidentally spill red whine on a Versache dress! HAHAHAHA!

(5) Cloud? NO! He wouldn't do that! He wouldn't DARE! -_-

(4) You people are mean...:''''(

O...kay....Well, what did you like about the game?

(1) Can't...say it...but...can't...hold it...GAH! I gotta say it! I gotta- *author slaps on duct tape before she can get anything out.*

(3) That I was a sassy assistant to a rich and famous CEO!

(5) That I at least had some part in saving the world...

(2) The fact that I'm not made out to be a sissy and that I can take care of myself is just fine with me!

(4) I don't know...I didn't have much of a part except...well...You know what, never mind.

This is kind of an off question, but when the words "Sephiroth destroying Cloud" are mentioned, what comes to your mind? Please start your question with 'I think of'.

(2) I think of:

Sadly Sephiroth destroying Cloud

(4) Cloud? Who'd Cloud? But when those words are said I think of: 

Sephiroth destroying Cloud, whoever he is.

(1) MUFFLE!

(3) I think of:

That hunk Sephiroth destroying Cloud

(5) I think of:

Cute bunnies and puppies frolicking in a field of bright spring flowers!

Now, if you could have the word of a fight, what would you say.

(1) *rips off tape* MATERIA!

(2) HAHA! Cloud is MINE!!!!

(3) I'm beautiful and you know it!

(4) I regret...*disappear out of no where*

(5) NO, Cloud is MINE! _I_ got the last word! HA_HA_!

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...Let's just move onto the score before anything else happens...

With the most 1's:

You're most like YUFFIE! Teenage Shinobi, she likes materia, materia, and MORE materia! Spunky and rambunctious, she's not much into dates unless the guy will go materia hunting with her, but then again a trip to Chocobo Land might change her mind on that! You just can't beat that roller coaster!

With the most 2's:

You're most like TIFA! One of the main heroines of the game, she's tough and DOES NOT LIKE TO BE MESSED WITH! Or else...-_- Then again she can be nice at times, and she does kind of get Cloud, so don't precisely judge a book by its cover!

With the most 3's:

You're most like SCARLET! For those of you who have no idea who this person is, she works for Shinra and she's the lady who has the blonde hair, where's the red dress, and is a total...jerk. ^_____^ Basically she likes being pampered and expensive things, and don't get her angry or else she'll slap you. With a diamond ring on the side she slaps you with too...ouch...

With the most 4's:

You're most like LUCRECIA! Again, for you who DON'T know who I'm talking about, she's the supposed mom of Sephiroth and former girlfriend of Vincent's before she was taken away. You see her once in the game and she explains what happened...but then she disappears again before she can finish...To what I gathered, she's nice, but a bit indecisive...then again, she DISAPPEARED, so I HAVE NO IDEA! If you don't like the whole 'nice but indecisive thing' then make it up! No one will ever no! (Unless they make that remake with some new info...then that's what it is...)

With the most 5's:

You're most like AERIS! Now I hope you people know who she is...But one of the other main heroines of the game, she's kind and sensitive, and would probably be the exact opposite of Tifa if it weren't for her slight temper when she's embarrassed. She likes animals and anything remotely cute, and she was the one who would have most likely gotten Cloud if only...Well, whatever. This is your personality is most like we're talking about, so if you got more 5's, you're most like this girl!

Well, that's all for now! If you want me to do another on then please let me know! Thanks for the reviews!


	4. FF7 Date for guys!

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FF7 Date for _GUYS!_

Anti: Sorry I haven't been writing for a while but you know...burn my eyes out eventually...anyway, if anyone's still there, I'd like to introduce my co-host for this part of the story, CHIBI!

Chibi: who by the way is very angry because she didnt put my precious tidy-whity in the story and i got red 13. who is a CAT!!!!!!

Anti: with the un-capitalized letters and all...

Chibi: leave me alone!!! waaaaaaaaa!!!!

Anti:....Anyway, let's get on with this. 

Chibi: *still wailing in background*

Anti: Today's dating service is for all you GUY AUTHORS/ READERS OUT THERE! We've specially picked out five women from ff7 to see who you guys would most likely go out on a date with if this wasn't some internet fanfic thingy...Also, for more descriptive directions go to the first chapter. It's basically the same.

Chibi: *......Still wailing*

Anti: WILL YOU SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO DO A SHOW HERE! *slaps on duct tape*

Chibi: *wipes tears and sniffles*

Anti: Cheeze, your so over dramatic...Why don't you go join a soap or something?

Chibi: Soap?

Anti: Never mind. Just don't talk it makes you sound stupid.

Chibi: When did the duct tape come off my mouth?

Anti: 0_o? Let's just get on with this.

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Question one...

hey, i wanna do the questions!

WHATEVER!

alright! okay *ahem* if you were on a date, and a guy told you he'd forgot his wallet, what would you say?

(1) What does he think I am, RICH?

(2) Oh, I'd forgive him pretty much and just tell him to pick up the bill next time.

(3) I'd punch the guy and he will think twice before doing that again ;)

(4) I'd excuse myself to the bathroom and sneak out the window.

(5) No, my boyfriend would never do that to me!

next question. what would you do if a date asked you to 'come in' after a date?

(5) GOOD GOD, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?!

(1) I think I'm still illegal...

(4) ....No comment...Depending if...well...

(2) Come in? You mean like to play go fish?

(3) Maybe for a drink, but not that far...

o...kay...who comes up with these question?

*whisperwhisper* JUST READ THE SCRIPT! *whisperwhisper*

fine, whatever...third question. what kinda guy do you go for?

(4) Someone with a big checkbook.

(3) Someone who likes sports, (like hockey, or WRESTLING! I can see that blood splatter now...^_^)

(1) Someone the opposite of Cid.

(5) I only have one guy in mind.

(2) Someone nice who loves cute animals and protects the ecosystem.

Okay...ummm...*shuffles paper* What should your date's best hobby be?

(1) Materia hunting! WEEEEE!!!!!!!

(2) Book reading...and not dying...

(3) FIGHTING!

(4) Someone who doesn't mind getting on the treadmill once in a while  


(5) Someone who likes business.

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Anti: THAT'S IT! *rips script away* No more co hosting for you! You don't use enough capital letters!

Chibi: You're so mean! *cries and runs away to the coffee machine*

Anti: Quick, let's get this over before she goes all hyper on us!

Let's just make you wait for your answers, though....

*Jeopardy music starts to play...*

Okay, you've waited enough....

For the guy who got MOSTLY 1's:

Your date is YUFFIE! Teenage Shinobi, she likes materia, materia, and MORE materia! Spunky and rambunctious, she's not much into dates unless the guy will go materia hunting with her, but then again a trip to Chocobo Land might change her mind on that! You just can't beat that roller coaster!

For the guy who got MOSTLY 2's:

Your date is AERIS! Now I hope you people know who she is...But one of the other main heroines of the game, she's kind and sensitive, and would probably be the exact opposite of Tifa if it weren't for her slight temper when she's embarrassed. She likes animals and anything remotely cute, and she was the one who would have most likely gotten Cloud if only...Well, whatever. This is your personality is most like we're talking about, so if you got more 2's, you're most like this girl!

For the guy who got MOSTLY 3's:

Your date is TIFA! One of the main heroines of the game, she's tough and DOES NOT LIKE TO BE MESSED WITH! Or else...-_- Then again she can be nice at times, and she does kind of get Cloud, so don't precisely judge a book by its cover!

For the guy with MOSTLY 4's:

Your date is SCARLET! For those of you who have no idea who this person is, she works for Shinra and she's the lady who has the blonde hair, where's the red dress, and is a total...jerk. ^_____^ Basically she likes being pampered and expensive things, and don't get her angry or else she'll slap you. With a diamond ring on the side she slaps you with too...ouch...

For the guy with MOSTLY 5's:

Your date is ELENA! Memeber of the Turks, she's the real quiet one who doesn't mind speaking her mind, (plus she's got this HUGE crush on Tseng so, your chances are kinda slim to nil, but hey, the key word there is KINDA).

Anti: Well, that's it for this addition. Sorry it was so short, but we're all sleep deprived here...*trying...not...to...fall on...kkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyybbbbbbboooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrdddddddd*

*zzzz*

Chibi: YEAH! AND I HAD COFFEE SO YAY! *in sing song voice* AND THAT'S THE SSSHHHHHHOOOOWWWWW!!!!! HOPE YOU COME AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!

*monitor shuts off before any more damage is done*


End file.
